adjusting.

"some days are diamonds, some days are rocks"
oh tom petty, but what about situations like this? when some days are diamonds -absolutely brilliant ones- and the nights are total rocks? and nothing really monumental has even happened? it just goes from glimmering magnificence to shit. that's when i start feeling really crazy. i've never thought of myself as particularly sensitive, and these are extenuating circumstances, but for this entire past week in rome i've felt a second away from both raging tears and elation. it's exhausting. i am so easily put off and can't grab a firm handle of myself for any extended period of time.

i'm a little kid and miss my family, friends, pony, crazy cat, and bed. a week isn't a big deal to be away, except when i think of the fact that i won't be in my house until the middle of may. at this point i am thankful for the few people who know exactly how to ease me. i don't know how anyone could make sense of this brain, but it's apparently possible. i need to get to a level where i can talk myself down, and not need the words of someone else. i guess for now i'll just be very relieved to have the "cool wash cloths to my fevered head" :)