Two weeks from right now, this life will be stuffed into a suitcase. Coasters and receipts that have to double as mementos will be slipped into every available space and I know nothing will be organized, despite the fact that I will be living out of said suitcase for 2.5 weeks. I'm ridiculously sentimental and don't see anything heading towards a garbage can.
Who would want this to end? I spent today doing some of my favorite things- picnicking, tanning, and writing with my pals in Villa Borghese (with a lovely pony being grazed nearby!), cooking dinner for a visiting friend, and drinking a Caprisoka while giving a moonlit tour of Rome. It's 2am and I'm stretched out on 'megabed' alongside Mon (we're straight, we just like to cuddle. OKAY?), our massive window is open with the curtains drawn back, letting in the chill and sounds of our quiet corner of the city. I have so much work to do, but it's okay, because my time here hasn't come to a close yet. There are still fourteen more days to soak it up before it's gone.
But I guess that's what things do.... they end. It's our challenge to keep moving on and growing, even when it seems impossible. This has probably been the best time of my life and I'm sure there's great things to come for me, but not so certain this can ever be topped. That's the trouble with delirious happiness- there's nowhere to go but down. I can't ever deliberately try to top this experience. That would just be impossible and most likely disappointing. Nothing could compare to the exhilaration, constant hysterics, the intense passion, and the unadulterated freedom. I'm just very happy to have had excellent people to share it with.... even though I don't think I'll ever see some of them again after leaving here. That really does break my heart.
What will we be for those 2.5 weeks? A couple of nomads traipsing around Europe with too much baggage. I'm Rome-sick and still here. Late on Saturday nights/early Sunday mornings, the streets get meticulously scrubbed down. The smell permeates the air and makes everything feel new. It makes holding the hand I've learned so well feel like the first time, screaming to lagging counterparts down the road over the great whirrrr of the brushes becomes hysterical, lips stretch over teeth in coy smiles, piercings glisten under the streetlamps, the smell of cigarettes is drowned out. We jump over the puddles and hold each other over the slick spots. Stop to kiss because I like the way your eyes just shined when I looked at you. Glimmers in time that I want to hold onto forever, dig my nails into and carefully file away in the deep recesses of my mind. But it just can't be. Non permesso. We don't always get what we want, and that's a brutal pill to swallow. Time will erode it all, and someday I'll be in a rocking chair and wonder "What was his name...?"
I don't care about how badly I want these papers to be finished and handed in, and these finals all done. April 25th.... please take your sweet, sweet time getting here. My greatest love, my friend Roma, and I haven't quite finished yet. She wants to show me Villa Borghese in July, Via del Corso at Christmas, and go for wandering strolls down more of her winding streets. You see, we still have a lot left to teach each other. I've finally found the ponies. She finally stopped raining.
Roma....Non basta una vita <3 ........."Problem" ;)
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very verrry problem. not all goodbyes are bad. sometimes goodbye can be a really great thing. maybe roma has taught us all it needs to teach us at this point in time and the rest will be revealed one day when we come back to this beautiful city. this has seriously been the most amazing semester of our lives. you're right that nothing will ever top it. what we need to do is take everything we've learned about italy, people, and, most importantly, ourselves and remember it for the rest of our lives. we are going back to america as new people. not many people get that opportunity so we really need to embrace it, i think. we've both learned how to appreciate the little things such as taking in the sunshine at piazza navonna, stopping for treats on our way home from school, our special little talks when we should totally be sleeping because we have school in 5 hours. we've also learned that everything happens for a reason and that there's nothing wrong with revisiting a spot just "so we can see it at night", and how nights that start out horribly can turn into the best nights of your life...we need to cherish these things, my precious elisa. we need to cherish them and make sure we remember them forever. which is why it's pretty damn wonderful that we have eachother. so that one day when you're in the rocking chair (probably sitting on my wrap around porch watching the sunset while the husbands are waiting on us hand and foot..) wondering "what was his name...?" i'll be right there next to you to remind you. love you cuddle bug<3
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